randomness

long time no blog...kinda busy with commuting this year & all....

anywho i finally started my practicum for my education major & i love it

im like a teacher assistant for this kindergarten class. the kids are sooo cute

there not really bad but this one girl Oooemmgee she blows my days but overall its great & i cant wait too teach!

ughhh bio suckssss i hate it!!! i literally study nonstop i fall asleep with my bio book like when will it get easier cause i def need an A!

omg i hate that the closest wingzone to my house is in clinton they def dont deliver to me!

my ex is the most awesome-est person ever & i love him sooooo much!

homecoming this year...well i didnt go but the weather sucked so i can imagine how it went....

think im gaining a little weight

done rambling now

blog later....

love in love or just lust???

knowing the difference between the three, love, lust, and being in love saves alot of unnecessary heartbreak. the differences are major although sometimes one may lead to the other. me myself, ive been in love once. my ex. loving someone is simply a natural care for that person. love is an emotional attachment. this love can be between friends family or pets. we all love and ive loved many times. im a naturally caring person and to me love its simply caring for someone beyond measures. having alot of love for that person. nothing more nothing less. you love someone because of how you feel, your in love with someone because of how they make you feel. just because you love someone doesnt mean your in love with them. it may seem cliche but when your in love you just know. sometimes you cant even answer as to why your in love with that person. its just because he makes you happy, the devotion to always be there for that person, and no matter what love them for who they are. an infatuation. you never second guess that fact that your in love you feel it each and every day. no one makes you happier. if for some reason the relationship doesnt work and you move on you will always love that person and continue to be there for them. being in love forms unbreakable bonds. lust is being strongly attracted to that person physically or emotionally. when you like someone alot. lust sometimes leads to love which can then lead to falling in love but lust and love can fade away where as if your are/were in love the love will always remain. its too easy to walk away...i may have lost the one i love, my crush/lust, but the one person i feel in love with is still there and i love him for that...

damn thats tough...

okay so when you mess up does that mean you have to sit back and take it when someone does the same?
like i kno i fucked up and i admit it but wtf can i do now? i cant do anything im pregnant im having a baby in march i cant change it.
but its like when/ if you love someone like truely love someone you dont move on within hours, days, nor weeks. it takes time. how the hell do you have a new future in a week like are you serious??? n i kno if you love someone you wouldnt hurt them n im so regretful sorry and remorseful for doing so but it still remains that i cant do anything about it. ive been through the long term relationship i know how it is to be hurt/get hurt n still love that person. its not easy to let go of something if you really fell that way about them. working through hard times only makes relationships stronger. but who wants to look dumb right?

im pregnant.

sooo i recently found out im pregnant. SHOCKER. def wayyy unexpected. at first i had no idea what to do. i felt like i had no options other than abortion. i was afraid to go to my parents because of the dissapointment i had caused. i felt like i could jus deal wit it alone and be done with. as time went on it got harder and harder. i needed my family. i finally decided to talk to them. it was tough at first, of course they were angry, but they were there. my mother told me what ever decision i made I would have to live with it forever, no matter what decision it would change my life forever, and that no matter what she'd be there. i went to the doctor and got an ultrasound. i saw my baby, i saw the heartbeat, i saw the life inside of me. i cried at the thoughts of killing my baby. every life deserves a chance. its my actions that placed me in this situation so now its time to be responsible. relationships with some ppl have changed some for the better some for worse. at the end of the day everthing happens for a reason and god wouldnt put us through something we couldnt handle. i cant worry about anyone but my child now. guess im another teen statistic. taking a negative and making it into a positive. my baby will be here march 28 and i cant wait. hope i have a boy...

ughhhhh

so i leave for school in two weeks cant wait to move in i love being at school i be bored a t home me my roomate from last year are living together with two of our other friends it should be fun because were all super close so yea cant wait class start the 31 ughhhh def not ready for that guess i should buy my books now lol but yea 10 more days cant wait! gotta keep this smile painted on for 10 more whole days thats gonna be HARD! <--thats what she said lol....but yea still trying to deal with that whole situation but its def getting harder day by day like i jus keep breaking down i cant take it like im starting to second guess myself now but idk why...i dont have any other choice so yea swear i think im gaining wait now too yay me =(....off of that im slowing growing apart from that one person. idk like i jus feel like i need time to myself i guess like i cant talk on the phone with him how i use too like i jus get so annoyed with everything he says but i dont think its him its def me i've jus been irritable lately hopefully he understands n i dont push him away i jus dont kno how else to go about it...anywho back to watching this baseball game {ohhh i was highly upset wit the redskins game the other day but the steelers had it though}

COA.

on my mind--

so right now im going through alot
like im trying to get through it as best i can
but its getting harder and harder
like i feel so alone i know im not
all of my friends are here for me or w.e.
but i jus feel like im doing this by myself
mango frutistas and buffalo wings are my bf's
i feel like sh** everday allday
both emotionally and physically
the hardest part of all is painting
a smile on and walking around
like all is good. i feel horrible
for even being in this situation
i feel like a dissapointment.
i hope im making the right decision
i dont think i have any other options honestly.
trying my best to hold myself together
& keep from breaking down every second
hopefully everything works out for the best
ughhhhh i jus wanna scream why me...

>god talk to me now, this is an emergency<

my loves

So i want some new uggs i like the pink ones like these but the black ones too so idk i'll take either.......

OooEmmGee i so LOVE ^^^ this ring^^^ so much i want it!!!