ughhhhh

so i leave for school in two weeks cant wait to move in i love being at school i be bored a t home me my roomate from last year are living together with two of our other friends it should be fun because were all super close so yea cant wait class start the 31 ughhhh def not ready for that guess i should buy my books now lol but yea 10 more days cant wait! gotta keep this smile painted on for 10 more whole days thats gonna be HARD! <--thats what she said lol....but yea still trying to deal with that whole situation but its def getting harder day by day like i jus keep breaking down i cant take it like im starting to second guess myself now but idk why...i dont have any other choice so yea swear i think im gaining wait now too yay me =(....off of that im slowing growing apart from that one person. idk like i jus feel like i need time to myself i guess like i cant talk on the phone with him how i use too like i jus get so annoyed with everything he says but i dont think its him its def me i've jus been irritable lately hopefully he understands n i dont push him away i jus dont kno how else to go about it...anywho back to watching this baseball game {ohhh i was highly upset wit the redskins game the other day but the steelers had it though}

COA.

on my mind--

so right now im going through alot
like im trying to get through it as best i can
but its getting harder and harder
like i feel so alone i know im not
all of my friends are here for me or w.e.
but i jus feel like im doing this by myself
mango frutistas and buffalo wings are my bf's
i feel like sh** everday allday
both emotionally and physically
the hardest part of all is painting
a smile on and walking around
like all is good. i feel horrible
for even being in this situation
i feel like a dissapointment.
i hope im making the right decision
i dont think i have any other options honestly.
trying my best to hold myself together
& keep from breaking down every second
hopefully everything works out for the best
ughhhhh i jus wanna scream why me...

>god talk to me now, this is an emergency<